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Tunnelling through…

Dear Eesa October 15, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — shezahasan @ 6:27 pm

As I lay you to sleep last night, hugging you in the crook of my elbow, I couldn’t help but wonder how and where the six years flew by? When did my little Peanut that I could carry tucked in the crook of one elbow, suddenly turn into a boy who can topple me over – physically and emotionally?  I gently lay a kiss on your cheek, you peek from one half open eye, give a cheeky smirk and draw me closer. I shift uncomfortably, nudged between you and your sis. I watch your chest rise and fall. I hear your heart drum the beats of serenity.

I love you, my baby peanut. I hug you tight and draw you closer. Tears drizzle down my cheeks as I think of you in our lives. My mind draws into a kaliedoscope where I see your Baba and I being teenagers, galloping and discovering the world, growing up together. But the moment you come in, the colours become rosier. We suddenly discover a whole new form of love – you!

Love was in surplus on your arrival. Your Chachi and phoppo were counting down the days with me. Your Riz chachoo had no clue and would ask the silliest questions. Then we went overdue and you decided to pop out the same day your Baba was drafting for his basketball fantasy team – I can never forget walking up nd down Eglinton Avenue that night. You decided that it was too comfy in there and stuck around for over 36 hours! I broke my resolve not to have the epidural and caved in – resulting in the best sleep I’ve had in the last 6 years! Your meeting with your grandparents befits the phrase “love at first sight” – for them there can never be another child as perfect as you – no, not even your sister! I also credit you for morphing your chacha into a  friendly goofball who would tickle u silly, roll all over the carpet with or simply come back from work and request to have you for some alone time with him and chaachi! Your Baba’s friends were so excited bout your arrival. EVERYONE had their msn status updated to announce your birth. It was really sweet!

My pumpkin, I’m so glad for having lived a life with you in it. I reflect on life the past 6 years, and I see how quick you have been to adapt to all the fast paced changes around us. In the past 6 years, you’ve lived in four different homes – and yet you never gave us reason to stop and pause, you strode right along with us! You’ve travelled to 5 different countries and umpteen different states and provinces within Canada and America. Travelling was never hard with you. Even when you were a baby – I shuttled through 36 hour flights with you, and you never gave me a reason to regret it. Infact you were so awesome, Daada and Daadi took you on a road trip with them to St Louis! You were remarkable mA!

You have a knack of making an impact on the lives of people you meet. People come up to me on the street and ask me if I’m Eesa’s mom. I’m no longer just Sheza. They know me through you, my 6 year old! Old aunties, teenage girls and little toddlers who’ve met you just once or perhps twice… remember you fondly.  

You, my peesoo, are a very intelligent young man mA. I look at you in awe as you build cities, hold dinosaur battles, create traffic jams, jungles and zoos on your own for hours. We were often admonished about how much we’re depriving you by not having cable at home. People often told us how much their kids learnt spanish from Dora, or how their kids picked up their ABC’s from tv. But you my love, learnt your abc’s from me. You learnt your 123’s from me. You learnt your surah’s and dua’as from me. Not from some outsourced toy or tube to pacify you. Your teacher says it shows. You started reading on your own even before you started school and can now read better than a 5th grader. You know most of your 30th juzz, mulk and tawbah and you knew your salah and dua’as even before you started school. You have an inquisitive mind which makes you a keen learner and your imagination knows no boundaries. Writing on the other hand… you take after your Dad! *wink* As for the tv and computer, we’ve left that interaction for the weekend at Daadis – where you watch and play for fun, not because they’re your source of knowledge.

It is also the very sheer ingenuity that gets you into alot of trouble. Your school years started with a particular administrator freaking you out – resulting in you refusing to attend school. We sortted her out but you were quick to kno you could always tug on daadi’s heart strings to skip school. You contrive plans on how to be late for school so Daadi can walk you to class. You know which teachers to fool so you can get out for a visit to Daadi on the pretext of going to the washroom. 

We held our breath as we walked you in for your first karate class yest. I showed you a clip from Karate Kid first – you loved it! You walked right in but lost patience with the neck stretches. You asked the teacher why he takes sooo long to turn his neck and insisted on swinging your face from side to side!

The best thing about you Eesa, is YOU. You are a personality of your own. Your gait personifies confidence. You refuse to button or tuck in your uniform shirt and insist on wearing hoodies. Although I don’t encourge you, I won’t discourage you either. Your teachers might hate you for that, but when you grow up, I’ll praise you for your confidence in being able to carry yourself and holding your fort. Your Nana told me, rules are meant to be broken. I’m glad you’re living up to your maternal creed!:P

You don’t take anyone for their word, you’ll believe it only if you try it. You can carry yourself with the charm of a magician. You laugh with a tummy rumbling gurgle and your sense of humour is contagious. You don’t care and hold no grudges about yesterday or tommorow, all that matters to you is now and here – and then you leave it behind forever and move forward – very much like your Dad.

Someday, some girl is really going to thank your Dad and I. Your greatest desire is to marry a girl who wants to work so you can stay home and cook and babysit for her. You love to dream about your wedding day and talk about it with the cutest smirk on your face. You cook like a whizz. On dawat days, you’ll sit and peel carrots or chop up veggies for me. You can sit on the counter and heat up rotis after rotis while I serve the food. You crack eggs like “Yan“! You can make your kababs more round than I have with a cookie cutter. Your sooji ka halwa is actually better than your daadis  – even she says so! And if you watch a cook show, you MUST try it!

This year saw you keeping your first roza. You mustered right along. We opened it at your Daadis where she made your fave crunch wrap. You were fantastic for having pulled off the complete 13 hours.

This year was also the year of the flood disaster. You hunkered along with me to my trips the warehouse. You’d help me sort food. But the cutest of it all was watching you try to challenge yourself to lift heavy boxes.

My sugar pie, I’m not sorry for seeing how hard it was for you to share us with your sister. The little pea, rattled you for a while. You watched from the sidelines as she drew attention with her pretty face and curly crop(mashaAllah). I didn’t even realize how hurt you were until you started scratching your face and telling me you don’t like it. It was hard to watch it. You, my handsome muffin, thinking you weren’t cute enough and wishing for a face like your sisters? It was a very sad time for your Baba and I. But we tried to make up for it with plenty of alone time with you and in no time again, you’ve turned back into your confident, boisterous self.

Although sibling rivalry still lingers between the two of you, you love your sister to bits. You embrace her and gently caress her arms as we turn in for bedtime tales. You encourage her to venture and try harder. You’ll take out breakfast for her before you make your own. You’ll help her in the washroom or hold her hand when she feels scared of the neighbors puppy. You give her a kiss before you leave for school and she waits at the door till you wave back at her.

As you stir and drift deeper into your sleep, I snuggle into you. Blowing raspberries on your cheek, enjoying the moment, before you become “too cool for all ‘dat”. Eesoo, I truly thank Allah for giving me a life with you in it. For the laughter, love and warmth you shower us with. For all the breakfasts in bed. For all the sweet dreams you spin with us. And above all, for Creating you, just the way that you are!! 

Love,

Ma!

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2 Responses to “Dear Eesa”

  1. aasi maasi Says:

    love this! mashaAllah!!!

  2. Amna Kay Says:

    subhanAllah, sheza! it was so touching. i loved it! ❤ amazing mashaAllah.


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