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Tunnelling through…

Knowing the “Right” mommy-types.. February 25, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — shezahasan @ 4:33 am

I’m on a Mommy strike. Dad has taken everything in his stride. I’m down with a bout of Hepatitis A, which means I’m supposed to be on bedrest and well, definitely NOT handling food and children. In walks Daddy-dom!

For the better half of the week, we relaxed at my parent in laws’ place. But the routine was getting way too warped and along with it the behaviour was going deeper into the abyss. Back home, things are right back where they should be.

We’ve had plenty of visitors the past three days. Lots of friends, neighbours and playdate buddy’s have dropped by with tons of food, books, flowers and gifts Alhamdolillah. Lots of bedrest also means lots of reflection, self analysis and way more introspection – combined they result in immense gratitude and humility for being blessed with so much Alhamdolillah.

One of the greatest blessings that I’ve been humbled by right now, is the group of amazing mums that I’m surrounded by. When I didn’t show up for playgroup on Monday, I had four phonecalls demanding to know why Eesa was not there today. (Yes, Eesa, not me!! I’ve finally resolved to my new identity as: Eesa’s mum to the entire humankind!).

The next day, I had a *surprise* brunch date with the most amazing women in the world. They planned and organized a mommydate with me while Eesa and Hana had a swim/library date with Imran.

I remember a while ago, I was reading a book called “Not Guilty” by Debbie Travis, It was a memoir of her journey through mommyhood, career etc. Anyhow, in there she mentioned something about how we should all “just share our stories with a friend over a drink. She probably has a worse one – and if she doesn’t, get a new friend.”

By God, how true is that! I LOVE my group of mommys at our playdate. These are women whose homes don’t self combust if we show up unannouned. These are mums to whom I can serve chicken nuggets and apple juice for lunch and not worry about being judged on my nutrition choices. These real moms who don’t mind opening their homes to us for a playdate, even if it has laundry and textbooks stacked all over the sofas. These hardworking moms who’d show up to playdates with their kids still in their jammies without a fear of being questioned, much less judged, because we all go through just one-of-those days. These honest women who don’t mind sharing the reality of drama, love, laughter, guilt or fear that we embrace as we move from day to day in our lives as mom-stars! These are the very women with whom I have no shame or fear of being judged when i confess about the naggling, floundering hormones that swing between loving and chugging my kids and husbands out of the window – because they indeed, will relate!

From the outside we are completely different – religiously, socially, financially, ethnically etc etc. But we all connect as mothers – real moms. And I’m oh so grateful for that. Being able to have some honest, real conversations – sans pretentions.  I know they look at the effort I put into my children and embrace their personalities for their strengths – and that automatically puts me at ease with them and vice versa.

I always emphasize to Eesa that its important to look beyond the negatives. I want him to have deep, meaningful friendships based on morals, values, inner discipline etc and it is with these group of women he sees a calibre of people examplifying how natural it can be!

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