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Tunnelling through…

And I will always Love you… June 20, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — shezahasan @ 3:33 am

Continuing with the catching up on tags/memes on this blog, up next is the around the world in 80 clicks! Jammie mommy tagged me in hopes of lurking me out of my hibernation, and here I am. We basically have to write 5 things we love about being a mom and tag someone else from around the globe with it.

1. When I sat to write this down, I was at a loss for words. What can I possibly write that no one else hasn’t yet?  And thats exactly whats so magical about motherhood, as unique as our children are to us, we’re all universally connected through our emotions as mothers. This morning, I stood at the front of my driveway and held a 20 minute conversation about the environment and its impact on us with a stroller jogger that was jogging by our house with her daughter. I’d never even seen her, forget met her before! In the past three months, I’ve had deep and meaningful conversations with “strangers” in Quebec, Ottawa, Toronto and Newyork. Visibly, we had absolutely no connections in terms of age, race/ethnicity, careers etc but we connected as moms! I find it phenomenal! I connect really well with moms who seem to grow well roundedly, who are well aware of their environment or current affairs, who are actively contributing to society as well as involving their children in everything they do – in short, women who were and are someone else besides being a mom.

2. I love how having kids has affirmed my faith in Allah swt even more. I can’t see how any conscientious person can deny the existence of a Greater Being after having kids. When I was pregnant with Eesa, I would religiously follow babycentre’s emails and would constantly be amazed how systematically God has created us. Each phase and step is synchronized to create a perfect being and if we try to interfere too much (eg even ultrasounds), we could actually harm the baby. Likewise, when they arrive, they need to grow at a certain pace. If we mould them or interfere too much to our desires, we can actually curb their real potentials. Its such a beautifully, delicate system and each day I strive to improve myself so I could exemplify to them the beauty of having faith, spirituality, accountability and therefore, compassion and mercy in our daily lives.

3.  I love how being a mom has changed me for the better. It has made me more aware and conscientious. It has expanded my horizon and given me amazing multitasking/organizational and planning capabilities. Just when I think I couldn’t do something, I draw on some crazy strength from within to carry me that extra mile. I find my self more giving and less selfish. More or less critical and accepting – depending on the situation. Motherhood has pushed me to improve myself in order to become a better example for my children. Having children has also pushed me to continue my anti-oppression work and to further my endeavour in working for the improvement in the lives of marginalized people and to help social justice find a stronger ground in Canada. one day iA!

4. I have developed a new found love and respect for my mom. As I reflect on the past 7 years of my life, EVERY thing she’s ever told me has come true. Things I never imagined, happened. And I’ve learnt to follow her intuition and to go with her advice because she KNOWS. As I grow further into the role of being a mom, I know that I see myself easing into the ways that she raised us. And its soo much simpler and easier to simply follow her way! On the days when things are going haywire in our home, I just have to call her to get myself reenergized and back into the mommy groove because she’s done an awesome job of it. Above all, she did it very simply.. without the shoo shaa’s of wanting to live up to some fake glamour mom image. And I value and respect that ALOT. It hurts me to know I never understood the value of her emotions, until I became a mom. And it (along with Mona mommy:P) serves to remind me constantly that my kids will never love me like I love them. 

5. Being a mom was the only reason why I felt that knot in my heart, tummy and soul when I left Eesa behind at school for the first time. It is also the reason why my heart lunges to my throat each day as we walk to the car for school every morning and then rests there until he get back home. It is also the reason why I could feel his cries when he was circumcized and also the very reason why I get super excited when I see airplanes. It is also the reason why I felt my heart thud out of my chest when she fell off the bed when she was three months old and also the reason why I chose to wear the colour of hijab that I wore today, and yesterday.

This post I dedicate to all my children – to the two whom I live for each day and the other two whom I pray to for all of us to reunite with in Jannah inshaAllah.  ameen.

As for the tags, its for anyone who wants to do it! Go ahead do it and link it back up here!


2 Responses to “And I will always Love you…”

  1. Ayesha Says:

    Awww that was soo beautiful…you have a gift for writing. May Allah make us all wonderful mommies and may our children grow up to be wonderful people/muslims inshaAllah

  2. Maryam Says:

    hey you’re back

    a big AMEEEEEEEN to that post, it was beautiful mA ❤

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