Imo went back to work last week. After being constantly waited upon for two weeks, I must admit, having two kids all to myself was stressful.
Previously, Imo would take care of Eesa while I nursed Hana and then we’d switch while I did some activity with Eesa and Imo would burp Hana. Thank God for Nayma, otherwise I would have gone insane.
Last week, I got diagnosed with postpartum depression again. =( I dont know how or when I got it. But its not the happiest feeling in the world. Having depression is one thing, just coming to terms with being the one with it is another. Even with Eesa, it was easier to talk abt depression, without associating it with myself. I was telling my PHN (public health nurse) that everything she talks to me about is exactly what i talk to my clients about. i know of every single resource she’s pointed out, the causes, the common symptoms blah blah -> infact sometimes i complete her sentences for her! BUT i have the hardest time dealing with the fact that its ME! i dont know why ~!
I’ve had a nurse visit me at home twice already and inshaAllah next week will be her last visit with us. Alhamdolillah though, its been awesome knowing theres sooooooo many avlbl resources around us. Even the nurses, they dont just check you and leave, they keep calling you back to check how you’re doing. Infact, one day i wasn’t in the mood to answer the phonecalls so had switched the phone off. They called 11 times in 7 hours and then finally she asked the evening nurse to call until she gets a hold of me (they have to speak with us everyday, for safety concerns).
Eesa’s been upto some pretty crazy and cute things lately. Alhamdolillah, he’s started to get a little more accustomed to Hana now, infact he wishes he was her! -we know this because he is fully convinced that he is a girl, pink is his new fave colour AND mercifully, he no longer asks me to call up her mother
(me) to come and fetch her.
I also recently introduced the concept of heaven and hell to him. So lately, he’s been telling me not to do everything he doesn’t want me to because then Allah would burn me (!!). Last night, I asked him to recite his dua’as before sleeping.
His response: ‘We shouldn’t talk so much, Allah gets angry and then He’ll burn us in hellfire!!