Baba and I have a lil secret these days. It’s you.
We found out about you day before yesterday. I was sure I wasn’t. The second line was really pale. But baba insists that even if its pale, its there. And if its there, it means you’re here! =) (truly a joey from friends moment for mama!).
I’d been feeling super dizzy all of the last two weeks. I thought it was from the jelly in my right eye. I’ve been going to sleep at ten and dozing off every few hours for a nap on the couch. Mama thinks im being a bum coz she’s here. Which is also partially true, it is also out of a lack of anything to do with having her here..
I’ve also been super bloated the past few weeks. Mummy had been insisting its coz I’m pregnant. But I did have my last period so I kept telling her, how could i be? Plus a one month pregnant woman can’t be THIS bloated. I honestly look like a four month pregnant woman when I blow out my tummy. It looks perfectly round too. lol.
I’ve also been going through intense, crippling headaches. I had plenty of those with Eesa as well. However, what I did not have with Eesa was mood swings. The last two weeks I’ve had MAJOR mood swings. Maybe it’s just me, but with foresight I feel better blaming my irrational temperament on the pregnancy – and definitely feel less guilty.
I have also developed a bionic nose of some sort. I constantly feel as though my clothes smell of nihari when I come back from places where desi food is cooked alot. Speaking of breathing, theres alot of air coming out as well. Silent and violent. There’s a constant rumbling going on in my digestive tract. The stench is so disgusting, it has ammi, nayma or imo running to the window – opening it as wide as possible. The weird thing is.. I remember all this happening much later in my last pregnancy.
I can’t imagine that I was still doubting if I was pregnant despite so many obvious signs. But it feels different this time somehow. I’m not sore where I’m supposed to be. I’m not as nauseous as I remember being. I’m more dizzy and lightheaded for sure.
I don’t know how far along I am. A week. Maybe two. Even three. But knowing that you exist brings forth this extremely maternal urge to rub my hands on my belly every chance i get. Since my tummy is so bloated these days, it’s really not tough to imagine that you exist. It shows! With Eesa we had to imagine what my belly would be like. Here, we already have a humongous bloated tummy. I wonder whats going to happen 9 months down the lane? Will I waddle like a duck again? will I put scotch tape on my outtie? Will I hate being fat again or revel in the fact that I’ll have a brand new eesa now?
We went to dinner at fatima aunty’s on friday. Everyone was upto the usual, pulling our legs, telling us to produce musa soon. Duct tape. Imo and I kept making eye contacts and shared tons of personal grins with each other. We feel as though, all of a sudden, we’re living in a bubble. Last pregnancy, we jumped leaps in our relationship – becoming closer than we thought possible. This time around, I’m awed at the capacity of emotions and love that Allah swt has bestowed us with. Alhamdolillah I can’t, for the life of me, ever contemplate how lucky can one get – and it just keeps getting better. Alhamdolillah ala kulle haal.
Yesterday, we introduced Eesa to you. I dont think he understood what we were trying to tell him. Instead, he lifted his shirt, rubbed his tummy and said ‘baby’. Well you’re going to be his baby too. Baby brother or baby sister =). Typing that out just shred my heart into a million pieces. My lil eeso0o’s going to be a big bro! he’s going to have a lil brother/sister!
Everyone’s gone out for lunch to daadi’s place. I’m supposed to be finishing up my assignment. But I’ve spent the last two hours coming up with a term for my new blog and trying to pick a theme i liked. Until i saw the chocolate brown one. Ofcourse, that did it. Check out the bright luminous green in there too! I miss using blogspot but I dont want someone stumbling onto this there. Plus I love this template a million times more. =)
I think I enjoy being pregnant a second time. Considering I have a million times less apprehensions, Eesa as an almanac and tons of personal space – I’m revelling in the thought of months to come…..
Ya Allah bless this baby in both this duniyah and deen. Make him/her enter paradise and become a source of paradise for his/her parents. Ya Allah grant me sabr and emaan in abundance and make this journey a smooth one. Ameen