1000 splendid suns.. December 30, 2007

Imo went back to work last week. After being constantly waited upon for two weeks, I must admit, having two kids all to myself was stressful.

Previously, Imo would take care of Eesa while I nursed Hana and then we’d switch while I did some activity with Eesa and Imo would burp Hana. Thank God for Nayma, otherwise I would have gone insane.

Last week, I got diagnosed with postpartum depression again. =( I dont know how or when I got it. But its not the happiest feeling in the world. Having depression is one thing, just coming to terms with being the one with it is another. Even with Eesa, it was easier to talk abt depression, without associating it with myself. I was telling my PHN (public health nurse) that everything she talks to me about is exactly what i talk to my clients about. i know of every single resource she’s pointed out, the causes, the common symptoms blah blah -> infact sometimes i complete her sentences for her! BUT i have the hardest time dealing with the fact that its ME! i dont know why ~!

I’ve had a nurse visit me at home twice already and inshaAllah next week will be her last visit with us. Alhamdolillah though, its been awesome knowing theres sooooooo many avlbl resources around us. Even the nurses, they dont just check you and leave, they keep calling you back to check how you’re doing. Infact, one day i wasn’t in the mood to answer the phonecalls so had switched the phone off. They called 11 times in 7 hours and then finally she asked the evening nurse to call until she gets a hold of me (they have to speak with us everyday, for safety concerns).

Eesa’s been upto some pretty crazy and cute things lately. Alhamdolillah, he’s started to get a little more accustomed to Hana now, infact he wishes he was her! -we know this because he is fully convinced that he is a girl, pink is his new fave colour AND mercifully, he no longer asks me to call up her mother (me) to come and fetch her.

I also recently introduced the concept of heaven and hell to him. So lately, he’s been telling me not to do everything he doesn’t want me to because then Allah would burn me (!!). Last night, I asked him to recite his dua’as before sleeping.

His response: ‘We shouldn’t talk so much, Allah gets angry and then He’ll burn us in hellfire!! 

Life.. December 22, 2007

it seems to be going so much faster, this second time around – leaving me feeling like a thirsty traveller being drowned with a barrel of water - just not able to take it all in! Life is suddenly so much busier with two around. Where my day goes, I have absolutely NO idea.

I’m sure its got something to do with an angelic 2 week old who makes mama feel like a cow-on-demand! I’ve been smitten, I tell you -> it’s love all over again. MashaAllah. Imo and I feel like we can sit and watch her endlessly, for hours at an end. She’s just like Eesa was, calm and peaceful – until she gets hungry, that is! But I know what takes up most of my time with her – dressing her up, mismatching her clothes and then accessorizing her. Ah! the joys of knowing the gender during pregnancy.. I was able to shop alot more, yes gender specifically, and therefore, absolutely LOVE dressing her up with everything.

Life’s also busy because my 3 yr old pre-schooler has inherited a sudden burst of energy from a mysterious somewhere. Its got something to do with it being a digustingly, gloomy winter – and us being inside most of the time because of Hana. Eesa’s constantly on his feet, upto something or the other. This has led both Imo and I to promptly enroll him for swimming classes and story time/reading classes to help dispense some of his excess energy supply these days.

Eid pictures to follow..

Funny Eesa quotes December 15, 2007

Eesa’s been saying some funny stuff lately and I really want to record them. Some of these might not be funny to you guys, but I’m only writing them out as a keepsake for his memory – something perhaps only him and i could look back and laugh about.

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Last night, Eesa’s arm got hurt while playing with his chacha. It was nothing serious, just some pain in his muscles. So he came upstairs (where I was feeding Hana) and goes:

 ”Mummy, Chachoo ne hamara arm kill kar diya!!’ (Mummy, chachoo killed my arm – instead of ‘hurt my arm’).

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 I’ve been teaching him the concept of being aware of everything we do because Allah swt is with us and watches us all the time.

Me: Eesa, don’t go down. Mama will be alone upstairs.

Eesa (with a raised eyebrow!): ‘aap akele nai ho, Allah hai aapke saath’. ( You’re not Alone, Allah (swt) is with you!)

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Me: ‘Eesa, may I have one of those plz’ (referring to a chip from his box of pringles)

Eesa: (Not wanting to share) ‘aapko aaj subah khansi hoi thi, aap nahi kha sakte’ ( you coughed this morning, you can’t have this!).

Welcoming Hana.. December 15, 2007

I wish I could describe the feeling. All I’ve been telling Imran is that I’m feeling this intense inner sense of hapiness and contentment that is simply too hard to describe or express in words. Alhamdolillah, Allah has been most Merciful and everything seems too perfect to be true – I feel scared typing it, in fear that all this may get jinxed just by me saying it out loud.

As you all know, we were blessed with Hana last week on Tuesday. It happened so fast and perfectly MashaAllah. What felt like a backache when I woke up suddenly had Hana in my arms by early afternoon. Not without alot of drama, mind you!

We thought we’d have her in the car, on the way to the hospital. Then we were so sure we’d be pulled over for speeding. Then the nurses were sure I’d deliver before Imran could find parking – but I was stubborn, I wanted that epidural and refused to push. Finally Imran came, but I wanted to wait for the epidural. Hana prooved to be a step ahead of mum and the water broke. I was in a panic, but she came out fast mashaAllah. Then Baba, the sweetheart that he is, passed out – creating another great panic scene. Alhamdolillah though, he recovered within a few minutes.

At home, Alhamdolillah things have been great. We stayed home during the first week but since Monday we’ve been having appointments in Sauga so we stayed with imo’s parents from sunday evening till thursday evening.

 My experience with Dr Levielle was just as great this time alhamdolillah. Peel region has introduced alot of extensive care options now and the nurses have been great. Hana has also already been checked by her paediatrician and ontario health nurses and inshaAllah on monday we’ll be having her nurse visit us at home. Its a little like the midwifery system but still far less personal.

Everyone’s been asking me what having two kids is like. It’s different. Suddenly I feel older and alot more tied up. Getting anywhere on time means starting to get ready an hour and half in advance - 20 mins for the drive plus an hour some to get all four of us ready. Hana must be changed last, because it is almost guaranteed she will poop right before we have to leave. Likewise, Eesa also HAS to pack up his entire collection of books, toys and videos into small bags to be carried with him to where ever it may be that we’re going.

Introducing… December 12, 2007

Hana Merchant

December 7, 2007

December 5, 2007

They most likely will be coming home after dinner. Alhamdulillah Baby is well, they may have dinner at our in laws before going home.

December 5, 2007

Inshallah Sheza, Imran, Eesa and Baby Freesia will be coming home this afternoon from Credit Valley Hospital. Please give them a day or so to settle down before calling or visiting. Once she is ready for visitors, I will let you know through the blog.

Jazakallah for all your duas and excitement.

December 5, 2007

Slideshow

Newest Merchant December 5, 2007